A couple weeks back, right after this all happened, I emailed D’s social worker to see if I could do an unofficial weekend respite, just to give him a break from the group home. That was a Tuesday. No word by Thursday so I emailed her again. Still no word by Friday so I emailed her a third time and said something along the lines of “I guess the fact that you’re not replying means you don’t think it’s a good idea.” I also made a comment about how it was ironic that my SW said they didn’t place D with me partly because they didn’t want to risk losing me as a foster parent, while that wasn’t what was likely to be the reason they’d lose me.
Well on Monday she emailed me with a thousand apologies and an update saying D was acting out and exhibiting troubling behaviors. She left me voicemails on Tuesday and Wednesday with further updates, neither of them good. I had two crazy busy days at work (7 am to 10 pm two days in a row…how do I manage that if I’m a foster parent???) so I didn’t speak with her and haven’t since. But I’m wondering if anyone but me thinks it’s crazy to not see that the reason he’s acting out is because of his environment, and the best thing in the world would be to get him out of there? How much should I (can I) try to advocate for this kid? It seems like he’s doomed and no one gives a rat’s ass. Not his mother, not his grandmother, definitely not his father or step father, not his SW.
I first contacted DCF one year ago to inquire about fostering. Here I am a year later, feeling like I’ve put my life on hold to do this, and at the same time feeling that DCF has no interest in me doing this. I have to wonder why they haven’t placed a kid with me in the eight months since I’ve been licensed – and to be honest it really is starting to bother me and make me a little angry. I know I’m being whiny, but I’m starting to make the transition in my head to the fact that I no longer want to do this. I want to move on with my life and leave DCF far behind. Ugh. I never even got a foster kid and I can’t deal with the system!